Monday, June 2, 2008

Flopping leads to much more than fines next year

It’s silly, but the NBA will begin fining floppers next season. This means that an official will not only have to make judgments about violations of the rules like traveling, three-seconds, etc., as well as fouls, but he’ll also have to be an acting expert.
That tells me that either the players will have to stop flopping, which means they will be less likely to try and draw fouls and that will have an adverse affect on the game; or they will have to become better actors.
Most of the professional athletes out there want to become actors after their sports careers anyway. This will just mean that many of them will start taking acting lessons sooner.
There is the Stella Adler system, the Lee Strasberg method, the Sanford Meisner technique, and many, many more. Soon the scene study classes will be filled with 6-foot-9, 260-pound men performing pieces from “A Streetcar Named Desire,” “All My Sons” and “Romeo and Juliet.”
In interviews after games, players will use words like “forsooth” and “methinks.” Oy vey!
Meanwhile, the ranks of the Screen Actors Guild – already brimming with out-of-work thespians – will swell. Resentment will build when a script calls for “40ish, dumpy, white, balding guy next door” and the part instead goes to “25ish, towering, African-American, great perimeter shooter.”
Nice decision, NBA. Talk about a flop!

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